1
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,280
Already?
They've started already?
2
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,120
Think it's just a rehearsal, love.
3
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,680
They've been playing
the same three songs since 1795.
4
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,400
What do they need to rehearse for?
5
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,200
Well, practice makes perfect, Aunt Mary.
6
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,600
You know, that is why they are
so cracker.
7
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,960
I'm sorry?
8
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,960
Did you just call
the Orange Order "cracker"?
9
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,600
I'm considering joining.
10
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,920
I don't think they accept
Catholics, Orla,
11
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,640
or, you know,
acknowledge our right to exist.
12
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,000
Give us a hand here, Gerry.
This'll not close.
13
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:43,640
We need to shift ourselves.
14
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,800
- We're the last Fenians standing.
- Relax, love.
15
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,600
We've a good two or three hours
before the rioting starts.
16
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,280
I'll not settle myself
until we're over that border, Da.
17
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,160
You're absolutely sure we need
the big clock, love?
18
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,960
- We've been through this.
- Don't want to bring the wee clock?
19
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,480
I can't be doing with the wee clock.
20
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,440
What exactly is your problem
with the big clock?
21
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,360
I wouldn't say I have a problem, as such.
22
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,800
It's just much heavier
and takes up a lot of room.
23
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,760
I'm telling you, Mary.
That's how it starts.
24
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,200
Now he's dictating
what size of clock you can pack.
25
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,296
Next he'll be telling you
what to wear, what to say.
26
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,920
Before you know it, you'll be faking
your own death, assuming a new identity.
27
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,480
Erin, I told you not to let him watch
that Sleeping with the Enemy.
28
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,376
- Couldn't stop him, Mammy.
- Great show.
29
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,120
Stick that in the boot.
30
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,400
You'll be as well
getting one of the wains to do it.
31
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,440
Out of the way.
32
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,360
Right.
33
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,280
Listen to it. I mean, just listen to it.
34
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,000
They can't... I mean, they don't...
Why do they have to be so loud?
35
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,320
- Breathe, love.
- It's far worse for me, Clare.
36
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,960
- I mean, my hearing is impeccable.
- I've read the same paragraph 47 times
37
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,480
because I can't concentrate,
because... Oh my God, the noise!
38
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,680
This whale, he's a bad brute, Mrs. Quinn.
39
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,760
I have to know if they catch him.
40
00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,400
Can I come away with you, please?
41
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,240
Okay, well, if your mother has
no objections, I don't see why not.
42
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,680
Thank you. Thank you.
43
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,040
I'll never forget this. Thank you!
44
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,840
She's taking you to a caravan in Portnoo.
She's not giving you a kidney, Clare.
45
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,000
Listen, Mary. I just did a reading.
46
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:19,200
The cards say if we go on this wee holiday
we're placing ourselves in grave danger,
47
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,400
which I'm not buzzing about, to
be honest.
48
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,080
You're not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
49
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,520
I am psychic, Erin.
50
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,240
I did a course. I got a certificate.
51
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,600
Aye, this does not look good.
52
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,400
Still no sign of the lottery numbers?
53
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,880
No, Daddy.
54
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:38,120
This psychic carry-on, it's not
all it's cracked up to be, you know.
55
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,880
Last night,
I woke up to this wailing sound.
56
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,520
I thought to myself,
"Jesus, it's Granny Pat.
57
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,760
She's trying to cross over."
58
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,960
Now, it turned out
it was only Aggie next door.
59
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,880
She'd put the electric blanket
on full whack
60
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,040
and scalded the legs of herself.
61
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,400
But still, it could
just as easily have been...
62
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,280
The disembodied spirit of a dead relative?
63
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,800
Exactly. My nerves are wrecked.
64
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,320
I'm living on a knife's edge here.
65
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,280
- Is there any Rice Krispies?
- Shh! Shh!
66
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,720
This is the best bit.
67
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,960
Okay, everyone. Remain calm.
68
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,800
I need you all to listen very carefully.
69
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,200
Okay, I'm going in.
70
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,480
For the love of God,
71
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,720
don't come in here!
72
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,736
- Everything all right, Mary?
- Stay back, Deidre.
73
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,520
This place is a death trap.
74
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,840
Mary, I hate to do this to you,
75
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,536
but me and Martin are both
working nights,
76
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,296
and I'm nervous about leaving these two,
what with the day that's on it.
77
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,200
Don't suppose you could
take them with you?
78
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,400
- Ach, away, Deidre, it's just...
- The English thing?
79
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,640
Listen, Mary, I understand.
80
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,200
I mean, he's my nephew,
and even I find it hard to get past.
81
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,480
If I'm totally honest, there's times
when I look at him and I feel...
82
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,480
well, it's pure hatred.
83
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,440
- I'll not dress it up.
- No, no, it's not the English thing.
84
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,760
Hope to God it's not the gay thing
you're offended by.
85
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,880
- There is no gay thing.
- Because I'd be disappointed in you, Mary,
86
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,960
- I'll not lie.
- Of course not.
87
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,120
I mean, if anything, the gay thing
sort of cancels out the English thing.
88
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,280
Again, no gay thing.
89
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,680
You wouldn't move over there, James?
I can't see past your massive closet.
90
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,536
I'm just not sure
we'll have room in the caravan.
91
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,520
It'll be grand. Us men can camp outside.
92
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,200
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God.
93
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,520
Run and ask Jim across the road
for the lend of his tent.
94
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,560
Well, thanks a million, Mary.
I owe you one.
95
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,880
If you want our Ryan to sort that gable
wall of yours out, you've only to ask.
96
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,480
What's wrong with our gable wall?
97
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,360
- Christ's sake.
- Do you think it's an omen?
98
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,440
Right?
99
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:38,840
Now watch.
100
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,040
- What about that?
- Whoa!
101
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,240
I tell you, girls, the double glazing,
it'll change your life.
102
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,960
Yes, as I said, it's...
103
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,240
it's very impressive, Jim,
but we're actually in a bit of a hurry,
104
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,960
so if we could just grab that tent...
105
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,600
Mind-blowing.
106
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,440
What are they, stilts?
107
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,720
Golf clubs.
108
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,080
I thought... spatulas.
109
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,600
- They're rifles.
- Really? Are you sure?
110
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,000
Fairly sure.
111
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:20,160
I also don't understand what connection
spatulas, golf clubs or stilts
112
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,040
would have to the Irish Resistance.
113
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,280
Christ, he's a dose.
114
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,880
Right. Once your tent is erect...
115
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,680
...you'll want to think about
where to safely store your food,
116
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,720
because believe me, girls,
117
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,000
you do not want to attract predatory
animals into your sleeping area.
118
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,040
Bears are particularly vicious.
119
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,776
Yeah, I'm not sure how many bears
there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
120
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,800
But there was a cheetah
on the beach one time.
121
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,160
That was a greyhound, Orla.
122
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,520
I know what I saw.
123
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,280
Gave you the Intrepid, did he?
124
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,720
That's his second-best tent, you know.
125
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,600
Tell you what, son.
126
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,400
I'm putting you in charge of it, okay?
127
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,640
Oh, please don't.
Please, don't put me in charge of it.
128
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,480
You'll be all right.
129
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,720
Right, there's too many of us for one car.
Some of you'll have to go with my da.
130
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:08,920
Can I? Can I?
131
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,680
'Cause Joe drives really fast.
132
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,920
He, like, runs through red lights and
takes corners on two wheels. It is class!
133
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,600
It really is.
134
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,800
I think I'll hop in with Mr. Quinn,
if that's okay.
135
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,040
Me too.
136
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,496
I'll go with me da. He lets me smoke.
137
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,760
You're coming? What about the grave
danger we're putting ourselves in?
138
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:29,280
It's a concern, but so is the fact I have
nothing in for me Sunday dinner, so...
139
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,240
All right, Joe, if you just follow me.
140
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,640
Now, why should I follow you?
141
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,600
- I've got the map.
- Aye.
142
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,520
- Well, now I have the map.
- Ach, Da.
143
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,680
Joe, it's all just a bit trickier today.
144
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,200
There are so many roadblocks up.
145
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,840
There are so many diversions and,
you know, I drive for a living.
146
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,160
He says this like it's something
to be proud of.
147
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,360
Look, we just need
to get out of this place as quickly
148
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,480
and as quietly as possible.
149
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,360
You know what age I am, boy?
150
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,040
You know how many of these parades
I've lived through?
151
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,560
You think I don't realize
how quickly a situation can turn?
152
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,200
Do you think I'd do anything
to put my family at risk?
153
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,920
No, of course not. I'm sorry.
154
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,120
Aye.
155
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,520
What are you looking at,
you tangerine toe?
156
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,280
Okay, Granda.
157
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,360
I think what's happened here is,
now correct me if I'm wrong,
158
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,056
but I think your father has just
driven through a police barricade.
159
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,160
Well, it's done now.
160
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,440
Oh, that's true.
It's probably not even that big a deal,
161
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,800
if you ignore the fact
that Orangemen are circling us
162
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,480
as though we're their fucking prey.
163
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,160
It'll be grand.
164
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,440
I'm starting to understand
how Moby Dick must feel.
165
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,160
Christ, I'm sweating here.
166
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:50,040
You lot tell me where I can and
can't go in my own town?
167
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,320
Orange bastards!
168
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,600
Sure, didn't I predict this?
169
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,080
No, you didn't.
170
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,360
I said this trip would place us
in grave danger, Erin.
171
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,040
Those were my very words.
172
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,840
This isn't grave danger.
173
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,000
Oh, look. That cop is pointing
his gun at us.
174
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,880
I mean, it's not ideal,
but this is more of a pickle.
175
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,200
It's a pickle, isn't it, Granda?
It's just a pickle.
176
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,680
Assholes!
177
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,160
Okay, then.
178
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,200
- So, would you do me a reading, Sarah?
- I would, surely, love.
179
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,480
Grow up, Michelle.
180
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,120
Deck of cards can't actually
predict your future.
181
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,240
It's ridiculous. It's medieval.
182
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,720
Shower of shites!
183
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,680
They really don't look that happy,
do they?
184
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,576
Why don't we explain it was an accident,
that we don't want any trouble?
185
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,600
- I'm not going out there.
- Send one of the wains.
186
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:38,800
- What?
- What?
187
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,320
Well, the wee fella's English.
They might respect that.
188
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,840
- I think they would respect that.
- Away you go, son.
189
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,520
- You're not serious.
- It'll be grand.
190
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,360
Underneath it all, I'm sure
they're reasonable enough people.
191
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,440
Absolutely no chance.
192
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,800
And how soon am I gonna meet this fella?
193
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,920
Dead soon. Really soon.
194
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,960
And answer me this. Is he a ride?
195
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,360
Oh, God, aye.
196
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,440
Is it just a casual thing,
or are we talking a keeper here?
197
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,200
I'm thinking marriage.
198
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,200
- Holy fuck.
- Catch yourself on.
199
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,920
To think, I could be
staring at him right now.
200
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,960
You can't marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
201
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,880
That's a pity, 'cause I think
there's something really sexy
202
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,800
about the fact that they hate us so much.
203
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,000
♪ Holiday ♪
204
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,080
♪ Celebrate ♪
205
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,920
I hope your father appreciates the fact
that I was the one
206
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,960
- who got us out of that mess.
- He won't.
207
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,240
Nobody back there actually believed you
were a Japanese tourist, Gerry.
208
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,240
They all thought you were a nutcase.
They took pity on you.
209
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,040
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
210
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,160
- What's wrong?
- I can't find my purse.
211
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,776
- I can see your purse right there.
- No, that's my sterling purse.
212
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,000
I'm talking about my punt purse.
I can't find my punt purse, Gerry.
213
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,240
Blessed Saint Anthony,
the grace of God has made you
214
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,160
the patron saint
of all things lost and stolen.
215
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,840
I turn to you this day
with childlike love and deep confidence...
216
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,840
- Look, Mary, calm down...
- Calm down, Gerry?
217
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,280
We have no punts.
218
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,640
We can't go to the Free State
without punts.
219
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,240
We're puntless.
We haven't a punt between us.
220
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,560
Oh, God, I think...
I think I'm having a panic attack.
221
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,640
- Oh, stupid punts.
- Over this?
222
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,880
So what happened back there was
totally fine, but this
223
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,456
- is worth having a panic attack about?
- You have to turn around.
224
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,920
There is more chance of me
225
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,360
eloping with your father
to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii...
226
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,240
Look, okay, fine, but that means
we won't be able to buy anything,
227
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,280
which means we'll have no food,
which means we'll all starve to death.
228
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,640
So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry.
Oh, actually, do you know what?
229
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,280
I think I put it in the suitcase.
230
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,840
False alarm there, Saint Anthony.
Sorry for troubling you.
231
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,720
♪ It would be ♪
232
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,080
♪ It would be so nice ♪
233
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,000
What's this prick up to now?
234
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,520
What the hell were you playing at
back there, "Kemosabe"?
235
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,600
That's actually a Native American term.
236
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,960
- Who were you meant to be?
- Japanese.
237
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,040
I didn't think you get much Japanese
tourism in Derry, do you?
238
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,600
Aye, 'cause that's why
it wasn't believable, dickweed.
239
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,216
- What's going on? Why have we stopped?
- Punt purse is in the suitcase.
240
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,840
Punts are such a pain in the ass.
Why can't they just use sterling?
241
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,000
Well, they did for a while, Sarah,
but then, you know, partition happened.
242
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,600
Holy God!
243
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,800
Jesus Christ!
244
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,840
Did you not put him in there, Aunt Mary?
245
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,640
- No, I did not.
- All right? How's it going?
246
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,680
Not too bad. Not too bad. And yourself?
247
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,280
I'm sorry, who are you?
248
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,560
Ah, Emmett's the name.
249
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,360
Well, not my real name,
like, but it'll have to do.
250
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,480
Anyway, I'll not be keeping you.
251
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,280
- No, hold on. Wait.
- Yeah?
252
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,040
Do you mind telling us
what you're doing in there?
253
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,400
Oh, right.
254
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,800
Well, during the last 24 hours,
255
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,480
crossing the border has become
somewhat of a priority for me.
256
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,360
So, I did a bit of asking around,
you know,
257
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,960
just on the off chance someone
would be heading down that way,
258
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,400
and your name came up,
and, there you have it.
259
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,000
- Fantastic.
- All right? Lovely to meet you.
260
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,840
♪ We need a holiday ♪
261
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,720
I'm in shock. It's insane.
262
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,640
- I don't even think I fancy him.
- What?
263
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,760
Well, it's obviously him.
It's obviously my husband.
264
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,880
Like, it's just too much of a coincidence.
265
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,400
Do you remember the whole "us being
in grave danger" thing Sarah mentioned?
266
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,920
Well, I think... I think this might be it.
267
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,880
I thought you said
fortune-telling was medieval.
268
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,080
Yeah, well, something has made me
reassess all that. What was it again?
269
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,320
Oh, aye, the fact that there's
an actual Provo in the boot of our car.
270
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,360
Oh, no! I've lost my bookmark.
271
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:46,640
Now I've lost my page.
272
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,840
Oh, my God, this day
just goes from bad to worse.
273
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,600
Bit of perspective, maybe, Clare.
274
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,400
I could grow to fancy him, I suppose.
275
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,680
Why doesn't someone just call the police?
276
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,696
'Cause that's not how things
work around here, James.
277
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,960
Well, how do things work here?
How do they work?
278
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,960
Will one of you please explain it to me?
279
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,760
Because sometimes I feel like I've gone
through the fucking looking glass.
280
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,480
Calm down, James.
281
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,160
Aye, don't be such a dick, James.
282
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,960
Was there something else, or...?
283
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,040
Yes. Yes, there was something else,
actually.
284
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,920
I'm sure you have questions.
I just don't really wanna get into it all.
285
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,360
Yeah, well we didn't really
want you to get into our boot.
286
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,880
Maybe just leave the fella be, sure.
What's the odds?
287
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,080
What if they pull us over
at the checkpoint, Joe?
288
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,736
What if the army asks to search the car?
289
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,320
The Brits are flat out
with their own parade.
290
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,440
- They'll not bother with us.
- That's a good point.
291
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,880
- Stay out of it, you.
- Right, in you go, son.
292
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,160
- Ah, Da.
- What do you want me to do?
293
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,920
Turf the wain out
in the middle of nowhere?
294
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,720
But this is dangerous, Joe.
He is dangerous.
295
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,080
I'm not dangerous.
296
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,360
In fairness, Emmett,
297
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,040
if you were dangerous,
you wouldn't say that you were dangerous,
298
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,440
- would you?
- True.
299
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,560
Shh! Can you hear that?
300
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:56,976
Hear what?
301
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,960
- Come on, Emmett, out you go.
- Ah, ah, ah!
302
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,520
You just stay where you are, son.
303
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,480
Ticking.
304
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,960
It's... it's like a ticking sound.
305
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,760
I'm not comfortable
driving him across the border.
306
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,480
Fine.
307
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,080
I'll drive him.
308
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,120
Oh, dear God.
309
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,320
We're all involved in this, Da.
310
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,760
We'll decide what to do as a family.
311
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,760
Bomb! He has a bomb! Listen, Mammy!
312
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,240
- Listen!
- Ach, Erin, that's just the big clock.
313
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,280
It's aiding and abetting.
We're talking serious jail time here.
314
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,800
Well, it's a risk we have to take.
315
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,080
No, it's not, Joe.
316
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,680
It's not a risk we have to take.
It's a risk we shouldn't take.
317
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,080
- Don't you take that tone with me, boy.
- He seems like a nice enough fella.
318
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,456
- We have to walk away from this.
- What if we can't?
319
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,440
What if we don't help him and
he kills us all because we know too much?
320
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,880
I like him. I think he's a character.
321
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,056
- Well?
- Just a cup of tea for me, please, love.
322
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,320
- Same here.
- And here, thanks, love.
323
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,880
Oh, and some Cokes for the wains, please.
What do you fancy, Sarah?
324
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,960
- I wouldn't mind a wee vodka.
- Make that two.
325
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,240
We don't sell alcohol.
326
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,800
- I'll take a tea.
- Any food?
327
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,720
We're just looking.
328
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,400
- Fine.
- Yeah.
329
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,520
And at 2.25 a burger,
looking is all we'll be doing.
330
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,240
Ah, don't mind me. Just grabbing a knife.
331
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,360
- Take it you haven't decided yet.
- Just leave it with me, son.
332
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,360
Aye, no pressure.
I'll be over here if you need me.
333
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,040
What the hell does he need a knife for?
334
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,680
He's eating his lunch.
335
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,480
God, but he has great teeth, doesn't he?
336
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,040
He really does, but...
now, tell the truth.
337
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,880
The hair. Can you see a ginger tinge?
338
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,560
Now that you mention it...
339
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,880
So Christ only knows
what's lurking downstairs.
340
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,720
And that is a concern.
341
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,920
But spending the rest of your life
with a fugitive is less of a concern?
342
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,280
Absolutely.
343
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,760
- Hey.
- All right?
344
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,840
I think you know who I am.
345
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:18,920
Yeah.
346
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,520
You sense it.
347
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,520
No, I mean I remember. You're with them.
348
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,920
Look, I just wanted to say, well,
349
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,600
- there's obviously something between us.
- There is?
350
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,280
The physical thing
isn't really working for me yet.
351
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,720
- Right.
- I'm not saying you won't grow on me.
352
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,200
- You're not a bad-looking lad.
- Thank you.
353
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,960
But the ginger element... well,
I've sort of got a borderline phobia.
354
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,960
- I'm not ginger.
- There's a tinge, Emmett.
355
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:46,440
And while I can't say it won't
be a struggle, I'm willing to try.
356
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,920
Great.
357
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,560
Even though it sort of turns my stomach.
358
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,080
Okay.
359
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,560
You really think this'll work?
That they'll tell us what to do?
360
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,400
Sure, it's worth a try.
361
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,000
Oh! Would you look at that?
362
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,160
- What? What do they say?
- I think... Now, I can't be certain,
363
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:11,240
but I think they're saying
you should leave Gerry.
364
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,896
I could have told you that years ago,
and I'm not psychic.
365
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,240
Okay.
366
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,440
Look, I've yet to hear
anybody say anything
367
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,536
to convince me that bringing that lad
across the border with us is a good idea.
368
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:22,600
Shit, he's coming.
369
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,680
I really didn't wanna have to do this.
370
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,480
Jesus Christ!
371
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,120
Get down! Everybody get down!
372
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,440
- Is there something wrong with her?
- Stop that, Erin.
373
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,520
Sorry, Emmett. You were saying?
374
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,880
Didn't wanna put you in this position.
375
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,800
But I can't stress the seriousness
of my situation.
376
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,440
- Anything else?
- Oh, do you know what?
377
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,680
- I wouldn't mind a knickerbocker glory.
- Right.
378
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,440
- You need to help me out here.
- We do that and we're breaking the law.
379
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,600
You recognize the legal system of
a brutal, imperialistic oppressor, do you?
380
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,296
If they can put me in jail for 20 years,
then, yes, Emmett. Yes, I do.
381
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,960
Listen, listen.
Have you killed anyone, son?
382
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,000
No. Well, at least not directly.
383
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,440
Well, there you go. So that settles it.
384
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,640
I don't think that does settle it,
actually, Joe.
385
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,800
You know what's wrong with you, Gerry?
386
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,360
- You're an awful wuss.
- I'm not a wuss.
387
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,000
- You're afraid of your own shadow.
- No, I'm not.
388
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,896
Well, then grow a set of balls
and help the fella out.
389
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,200
I have a set of balls,
thank you very much.
390
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,696
- Oh, seriously, Daddy.
- You're even afraid of that wee girl.
391
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,520
- What wee girl?
- That waitress.
392
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,960
You wanted a cup of tea.
393
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,960
She brought you a Coke and you just sat
there and said sweet Fanny Adams.
394
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,920
Your granda said "fanny".
395
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,520
Well, that's because I like Coke.
396
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,320
- Her customer service is shocking as well.
- Aye, desperate.
397
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,800
- Someone should say something.
- Aye, Gerry!
398
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,360
Gerry should say something.
399
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,840
I will. No problem.
400
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,120
I'll say something.
401
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,200
Excuse me.
402
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,360
Excuse me, please.
403
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,320
What?
404
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,520
Um, I just wanted to say that,
uh, I, um...
405
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,040
I ordered a tea. You brought me a Coke,
and that's not acceptable.
406
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,520
- But you drank the Coke.
- That's not the point.
407
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,000
And your service has been nothing short
of appalling. Your attitude is worse.
408
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,360
It's simply not good enough.
409
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,920
I'll, uh...
410
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:20,840
I'll bring you a tea.
411
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,040
You do that.
412
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,480
I'm sorry.
413
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,240
I got a bit of bad news today.
414
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,200
I haven't really been able to focus.
415
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,800
I've been a bit distracted, maybe.
416
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,240
I'm sorry.
417
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,240
- I'll just...
- No, no, no.
418
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,560
Ignore all that.
419
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,000
I'll bring your tea right away, sir.
420
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,160
Well, there was absolutely
no need for that.
421
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,640
- Jesus, Gerry.
- Harsh.
422
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,480
- Awful.
- Poor girl.
423
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,560
I can't believe you did that, Daddy.
424
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,640
I...
425
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,760
You asked me to.
426
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,000
How could I have known?
427
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,640
And would you all just stop
looking at me?
428
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,600
Fine.
429
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,440
Fine.
430
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,560
Do you know what? Fine.
431
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,960
I've had it with the lot of you.
432
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,760
And just for the record back there,
I was being an Australian tourist, okay?
433
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,920
Australian. And I happen to think
that my accent was flawless.
434
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,000
"Excuse me, mate.
Can you help us get out of here?"
435
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,000
Flawless!
436
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,120
Okay.
437
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,800
We have to decide what to do here,
one way or another.
438
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,560
- Let's just vote.
- Leave him!
439
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,240
I vote we run away and leave him.
440
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,360
I vote we take him,
for better or worse and all that.
441
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,640
I vote we take him.
442
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,960
- Me too.
- I can't decide.
443
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,280
I decided, but I'm afraid
to say what I've decided.
444
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,120
Why don't we just toss a coin?
445
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,560
Interesting...
446
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,320
So, heads, the wee RA man comes with us.
447
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,640
- Tails, we leave him.
- Mmm.
448
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,840
- Aye. Ready?
- Go on, then.
449
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,520
- What is that, a fish?
- A dolphin, is it?
450
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,160
It sort of looks like Moby Dick, actually.
451
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,920
- Ah, shite I used a punt, didn't I?
- What's on the other side?
452
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,680
- A harp.
- So harp must be the head
453
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,736
- and fish must be the tail?
- Oh, that makes sense.
454
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,880
Yeah, because fish have tails.
455
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,880
- Just do it again with real money?
- This is real money, Sarah.
456
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,320
- You know what I mean, normal money.
- All right. Who has ten pence?
457
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,560
It was him.
458
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,440
The mural on our house, the spray paint,
it was Emmett.
459
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,800
- I can prove it.
- Sly wee bastard.
460
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,280
- You bloody tout.
- Where is Emmett?
461
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,000
There he is.
462
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,520
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
463
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,440
♪ Yeah ♪
464
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,800
Is that Jim's tent?
465
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,080
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
466
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,760
♪ All right ♪
467
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,880
What's he doing?
468
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,400
♪ What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man ♪
469
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,600
♪ Say it again now ♪
470
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,760
♪ What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man ♪
471
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,360
♪ He's a mighty, mighty good man ♪
472
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,520
I told you to look after that tent.
473
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,256
No, you didn't.
You told him to look after it.
474
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,960
Aye, blame the wain, big man.
475
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,880
Jesus.
476
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,000
Jim's second-best tent.
477
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,080
How am I gonna break it to him?
478
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,040
♪ My man gives real loving
That's why I call him "killer" ♪
479
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,800
♪ He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am
He's a thriller ♪
480
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,480
♪ He takes his time
And does everything right ♪
481
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,080
♪ Knocks me out with one shot
For the rest of the night ♪
482
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,000
♪ He's a real smooth brother
Never in a rush ♪
483
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,680
♪ And he gives me goose pimples
With every single touch ♪
484
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,560
♪ Spends quality time with his kids
When he can ♪
485
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,320
♪ Secure in his manhood
'Cause he's a real man ♪
486
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,600
♪ A lover and a fighter... ♪